DNR

Yesterday, I went to a lavish banquet dinner for my friend’s sister’s birthday at the Dome. The Dome has a gorgeous interior, very grand, all gilded and painted, but Inhad no camera with me so you’ll have to imagine it. It was an excellent night, the wine was filled and refilled, and the conversation flowed well. Then again, I forgot my main rule at banquet dinners.

Do. Not. Refill.

I have no idea how much I had because I rarely finished a glass before the waiter came round and topped me up. Don’t get me wrong, it was lovely, but it definitely messed me up. Still, looking good an only vaguely like a Renaissance Jesus painting.

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Very pretty, right?

So, some more thoughts on Edinburgh and it’s difference from Prague. I must say I have definitely come to appreciate Scottish office staff. Having recently visited a Czech office building to have a ticket replaced, I now realise that as annoying as our offices are, they at least work pretty hard to make sure you get what you want as quickly and easily as possible. Czech offices seem Kafkaesque.

You get there. You ask a person where to go. He tells you somewhere. You end up getting a new card for no reason only to then be told by the original guy you have to go to a different office and he quotes an unrelated price. You try and find out what your card is for but nobody can tell you. You turn into a giant insect. The walls fade. You get sent to another building but then get arrested and charged double the quoted price for no reason. Maybe they just hate giant insects and Kafka references.

Their offices are intractable. The corridors are winding, evening offensive to sight and strange smelling, the waiting rooms are full of beeping and they have an electronic number calling system which is not always sequential, everything is unduly long and feels terrible. By comparison, offices in Scotland are very gentle. The difference is no where more visible than the airport. Edinburgh is very light touch. They know what they are doing, they are obviously pretty attentive, but they don’t feel the need to grope you so hard it’s like a medical exam. You can get a free all body massage on the continent if you walk through a metal detector wearing a watch.

So glad that I have nothing official to do on this visit, though. So many of them end up putting you on the phone, and voice recognition operators are like a cruel joke to Scottish people. Shit. Just remembered I have to call an office and they use one of those.

So this weekend, as a special treat, expect daily updates from me. Today, I give you my get home treat…

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