Stupid Sexy Santa

The year 1953
The singer Eartha Kitt
The song Santa, Baby

Eartha Kitt’s purr perfectly befits a woman Orson Welles called “the most exciting women in the world”. A woman who played Catwoman. Her voice is interesting and alluring. It definitely sounds seductive and a bit sexy, but on relistening to this song more closely, me being a consummate researcher, I realised that Kitt doesn’t try nearly so hard as her imitators. Yeah it’s a nice voice, but she doesn’t lay on the cherry sauce, if you know what I’m saying.

There’s a layer, however thin, of coyness. That’s probably why the song works so well.

Today’s topic is sex and sexiness. I have already covered the sexiest Christmas song, or at least the most explicit, in Lady Gaga’s Christmas Tree. In Kitt I see something else. More of a sensuality. And ulterior motives.

This is in part because Lady Gaga’s song is set in the more realistic realm of a couple of lovers at Christmas times having sex while Kitt’s number is about seducing Santa for expensive gifts. Lady Gaga wants somebody lit up and put on top, no strings. There’s no suggestion that Kitt fancies the man in red, she just wants to tease and play with him a bit for an extensive laundry list of items.

Things Kitt wants:

a sable
a ‘54 convertible, light blue
a yacht
the deed to a platinum mine
a duplex
signed checks, unspecified amount
christmas decorations bought at Tiffany
a ring

She has expensive tastes and knows what she wants. Good luck with that.

Now, the more conservative would probably balk at the sexualisation of Christmas, and I could respect that up to a certain point. But not ultimately. For, as I said in yesterday’s post, Carol of the Bells, read it, Christmas is an everything holiday. It’s the happiness of gifts and togetherness, the sadness of thinking of who isn’t there, the deep reflections on the past year, and the superficiality of commercialism. Christmas is ritualistic and traditional, yet at the same time follows changing times. Why wouldn’t sexiness have a place in the holiday?

Hell, the colour scheme is red, can you think of a sexier colour?

Editor: You are not mentioning anything about dangly decorations!
The Writer of this piece: Why won’t you let the spirit of Christmas flourish?!
Editor: No.

So yeah, let’s appreciate the holiday for all that it is, material, spiritual, and sexual. A time to be all sorts of emotions mingled together and tossed up.

And remember to have fun out there.

The writer of this piece is getting a touch of seasonal affective disorder but trusts it will dissipate when the days finally start to grow again.

Here’s a brilliant clip from Community:


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